New year's resolutions
I get the calendar off the wall and turn the pages from December back to January and look for hand written notes. Every year I would go through the months and look at the markings and remind myself of the plans, vacations and events throughout year and try to relive the good moments. This year though the calendar is utterly black. There are no markings, no notes and no reminders. It looks as if the year didn't even happen. The calendar appears brand new and not touched by the passage of time
It was a demanding year. Changes had to be made. Like people, plans and dreams got locked up. Goals got side tracked and for a while life was on hold. I tuck the calendar away and with that the hope that normalcy is going to return anytime soon and welcome the realization that it is finally time to move on.
I'm not the kind of person who "believes" in new year's resolutions. I don't remember ever making one. I consider myself a disciplined person with high self control and a stronger than average will power. Reflecting upon my journey of self-improvement is not something I do once a year in January. I look at the self-improvement process as an engineering design problem. It’s a complex cycle accompanied with multiple steps of trying new strategies, tracking progress, reflecting on outcome, revising plans and rewriting and expanding goals. Life and I change all the time. Why should the goals be set in stone?
Hopefully, my lack of belief in new year's resolutions has little to do with their efficacy. Research by psychologist Kaite Milkman shows that January is the best time of the year to for fresh starts. The presence of a social bandwagon you can jump on seems to create cultural contagion that motivates people to focus on self improvement.
Although January might be the month for setting goals, a 2007 study by Richard Wiseman involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions did not meet their goals despite the fact that 52% of them were confident of success at the beginning. When people were asked in a later study why they think they failed 35% stated they had unrealistic goals, one in 3 of participants had no system to track their progress, 23% forgot about them and about 10% of respondents said they made too many resolutions.
If you feel discouraged about your new year's resolution now I encourage you to keep reading. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There are a few strategies for you to improve the 88% failure rate:
Instead of vague resolutions use general themes for the year. Then set concrete goals for yourself. Make sure each goal can be turned into a measurable action that you can be tracked and monitored. Use SMART goals: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Keep track of your goals with a calendar or a planner.
Start with smaller goals and let them grow with your progress. You are in charge. Change your goals if you are not meeting them. Split them into more manageable actions. Be consistent in your tracking but also be kind to yourself! If you met a goal halfway give yourself half the credit. Remember it is about the progress and building up small habits.
You are not bound by the system. Change it as you go. You change, your circumstances change so should your goals and actions. Be flexible. Keep what works and throw out what doesn’t but remember what works today might not work next year and what didn’t work before might work later so keep a library of strategies and revisit them with an open mind.
Good luck with your plans and goals this year and may this year be kinder to you and may your calendar be full of memories worth preserving!